"He had a couple of drinks and got very... enthusiastically supportive. At one point, a waiter came by with a tray of appetisers. I took a bacon-wrapped date and ate it. My ex pointed at me across the table, clapped loudly, and cheered, 'YES! Good girl! Eat your food! Big bites!' in front of my department head and several important clients.

He hyped me up like a toddler or a golden retriever. We joked around like that sometimes when we were alone in our apartment, but having him yell 'good girl! big bites!' in a quiet, upscale restaurant while my boss watched made my soul permanently leave my body."

"My husband does this, and the worst part is it always seems to happen right as the background music fades out between songs. The whole room will go dead quiet right as he hits the climax of a story and bellows something like, 'SO I TOLD HIM IT WAS PROBABLY JUST A HAEMORRHOID.'

I'll do the frantic wide-eyed stare and the subtle hand-pat-down motion to get him to lower his voice. He'll just stop, look at me completely confused, and loudly ask, 'What? Why are you shushing me?'

"We are usually alone and when we are, he pulls down my pants and undies to do so. We were quite high with a friend once and I asked him to put the cream on me and he pantsed me including my undies in front of our friend out of habit. Embarrassing, but not malicious at all! Just let the floor swallow me whole."

"I didn't realise she actually went out and bought one.

A few days later, we were at a packed sports bar for my buddy's birthday. We were sitting at a big booth with about a dozen of my friends. I absent-mindedly put my thumb near my mouth while watching the screen. Out of nowhere, she whips a mini squirt bottle out of her purse and hits me square in the face with a stream of cold water, loudly commanding, 'NO. BAD.'

The entire table went dead silent. A waitress walking by actually froze in her tracks. My girlfriend just sat there beaming, waiting for the laughter to roll in. She completely forgot that absolutely nobody else had the context for our little inside joke.

To the rest of the group, they just helplessly watched a woman spray her 28-year-old boyfriend right in the face like a feral cat on the kitchen counter. I just had to sit there dripping wet holding a chicken wing."

"Wore a spandex hot pink minidress two sizes too small to a fine dining restaurant I took her to for dinner. Nothing to do with her body, she was smaller than even I am (also a woman), but I spent weeks picking out something nice to wear and putting aside money for dinner and she chose this. The staff barely had anywhere safe to look.

Lied about a couple who were friends of ours trying to proposition her for a threesome before we dated. It came up in conversation with the couple and immediately became clear she made it up completely. Wildly uncomfortable for everyone.

Lied that she had been hate-crimed in a political rally that it turned out she never attended. This also came up in conversation with people who did attend and she pretended she'd never said it (she told everyone).

Pushed hard for me to propose and then when we got engaged she was really excited, but then when she told our friends in public she acted too cool for it and said she 'couldn't escape me' now and that 'it was over for her.'

This was long ago and it's all funny to me now, never got married thank god. Very ridiculous person!"

"Had to take him outside of the venue to get some air. To get some privacy I brought him to the recessed entrance of a garage, where he spent about half an hour puking his guts out.In the middle of that, everyone started leaving to go to a club. It was a parade of people waving goodbye while I grimaced and he hurled.

He said he had to go to the toilet, and there was a public one half a block away, but he refused to go there, just sat on a bench. After like an hour I thought he was well enough to go home, but right as I was ordering an Uber I HEARD him shitting his pants. I called the driver and explained what was happening. That angel of a man said he had some bin bags in the back and it would be fine. Left him 3x the cost of the ride for a tip — I still don’t think it was enough.

When we got home I had to strip him down and put him in the bathtub, tossed his underwear directly in the bin and started a load with his jeans and towel, then hosed him down and washed him clean. I will never forget the stench, his face while he was shitting himself on a public bench, and the sound. Somehow I dated him for three more years."

"I proposed. In front of hundreds of people. And a TV crew.

It was the most-read entertainment news in both biggest tabloids in the country.

But in the end she said yes. We are still together 10 years later."