“Grandpa had won $400 playing pool against some local sharks.”

"We all thought we’d have to babysit him. By 2 a.m., we were at a dive bar and grandpa had won $400 playing pool against some local sharks, convinced the bartender to give us a veteran discount on the entire tab, and was teaching the groom how to properly negotiate a mortgage while doing shots of Midori. By the way, he was the only one who didn’t have a hangover the next morning."

"One of the times, she couldn’t wait and was sick out of the window before we could pull over. The maid of honour had her head out of the window in the back seat, filming the bride as she was being sick out of the front passenger window. The maid of honour got a mouthful of the bride’s sick as she had her mouth open laughing while filming. Then the maid of honour started being sick out of the back seat passenger window. ‘So. Much. Vomit. It wasn’t even 8 p.m.’"

"We agreed to meet at a strip bar about 20 minutes away, but when we got there, there was no groom. We waited half an hour and still nothing, so we all left. I saw the groom at work the following Monday with his face and hands all torn up and asked what had happened. 

His future brother-in-law had been driving him to the club, and on the way he felt sick. His brother-in-law pulled over on the side of the motorway, and my buddy got out to be sick over the guard rail. However, he fell over the guard rail and rolled down a hill into some thorny bushes. Luckily, the brother-in-law is a big bloke — he went down the hill, dragged him back up, put him in the car, and took him home, dropping him into bed. ‘I would have liked to see the look on his face when he woke from his alcohol-induced episode and looked in the mirror. Priceless!’"

"She kept flirting, she kept getting very flirty, she kept giving him lap dances. He just sat there and grinning and not making eye contact. She left with him, everyone assumed he was getting laid. He took her to Denny's for 1:00am breakfast, they walked in the park, she went back to his place, he gave her the bed and he slept on the sofa. He drove her 90 minutes home the next day, hung out with her and her roommate....and the stripper and her roommate set him up with the roommates non-stripper sister. He married the sister."

"First, we went to the sauna, and then a car pulled up on the street. Two well-dressed thugs got out, threw the groom into the boot, and drove off. However, when we looked, the police had stopped the car with the groom just two streets away. With guns drawn, they put the men on the ground, and before we could get there to explain, they had already handcuffed them and started ‘rescuing’ the groom, who thought it was just another part of the show and was mocking the poor quality of the police."

"The groom got hammered and his buddies thought it would be hilarious to put him on a Greyhound bus. He woke up on a bus in Cleveland the morning of the wedding. The wedding still happened apparently — several weeks later, and with none of the groom’s friends in attendance."

"After the skydiving and before the crawl, they all started drinking Patrón like water. I’d skipped the skydiving, so I was sober when I joined them — and they were absolutely hammered before we’d even reached the first bar. After the first stop, one of the lads got sick and was sick inside the limo in the car park. 

The driver was furious, shouting about cleaning fees and everything else. I was trying to calm him down when suddenly he yelled, ‘WHAT THE FUCK?!’ One of the guys was blatantly urinating on the limo, not near it or on the tyre, but directly onto the white paint like he was writing his name. 

The driver told us to get in immediately and said the night was over. It turned out the groom barely knew those guys, they were the bridesmaids’ husbands, so it was a very quiet 45-minute ride back to his house. I remember thinking, ‘Wow, that was a hell of a night, wait until the girls hear this.’ But when we got back, the girls had already arrived, because the bride had punched one of the bridesmaids in the face, ending their night early."

Additional thumbnail credits: Paramount Pictures, NBC